


Never Alone

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/M, Frottage, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sibling Incest, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:37:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6297484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But this... this was a dance he and the person he <i>knew</i> was outside his door had been playing for a very long time; since they were just teenagers sharing a roof as they made their way through life before leaving home. He could still remember the first time they'd delved into this territory, could still remember the way Aoi had looked at him so fearful after they'd landed in a heap on his messed up bed, just under the liter of band posters across his walls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SakuraAme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuraAme/gifts).



> [For my request post on tumblr](http://cadkitten.tumblr.com/post/141278708713/drabbleoneshot-requests). Prompt: Intensity. Something wild, harsh, passionate. - Pretty sure I hit nowhere near harsh with this, but wild... passionate... intense. Yup.  
> Additional Tags: Past M/F, Mention of Teenage Sex  
> Song[s]: Album "Insomniac Doze" by Envy

Die rolled over in his bed, the faint creak of floorboards waking him up just enough to make him crack his eyes open and peer across the mostly darkened room. For the third night in a row, he waited as the footsteps paused just outside his bedroom door - waited on the inevitable to happen. They'd all come home for their parents anniversary and the house was filled to the brim with every single piece of their family. Both of his parents siblings and both of his own, his parents, and even one random cousin had shown up. 

But this... this was a dance he and the person he _knew_ was outside his door had been playing for a very long time; since they were just teenagers sharing a roof as they made their way through life before leaving home. He could still remember the first time they'd delved into this territory, could still remember the way Aoi had looked at him so fearful after they'd landed in a heap on his messed up bed, just under the liter of band posters across his walls. He recalled the way his hands had felt as he'd slid his own up Aoi's arms and grasped them in his own two hands, palms pressed flat against one another. More than any of that, he remembered that first taste and the thrill of it: sweet from the syrupy treat he'd been eating and yet with just that undertone of peppermint, telling of him having brushed his teeth quite recently.

What had come after that had been frantic and clumsy, the desperate attempt of two teenagers to find something to quell the perpetual ache. And for years Die had let himself label it as that; had allowed himself to believe it was only their hormones that had driven them into one another's arms time and time again. 

But he also remembered the ache in his soul when he'd left home, when he'd departed for Tokyo with the intent to never come back again. Everything about those first few months had been agony and when he'd finally found music, it had been the relief he needed, the distraction from the one thing he had quickly stamped with "fucked up mistake" and run from as if it were a fire burning the house of his soul to the very ground.

He hadn't gone home for three years and by then, Aoi had moved out as well, their contact dwindling down to New Year's cards and vague texts, every once in a while a phone call over someone in the family's health. And they'd never once talked about what had happened between them for all that time. 

Thought that didn't at all mean that Die didn't think about it. No... he thought about it more than he wanted to admit. Even now, some thirty years later, he thought about it like it would end the world if he ever forgot it fully. These times, when they were so close to one another, under the same roof and within the same beds... it all came back to him like molten lava in his veins. It was agony as much as it was pleasure and here, now... he couldn't help himself as he closed his eyes again and mouthed out the wordless request to the universe to let Aoi finally come to him. 

He'd been so alone these past few years and nothing had ever quite filled the void after his wife had passed on; something he'd never once shared with the public and never once let on had nearly killed him in the process. But here - now - that ache was finally overshadowed by another. For a split instant, he could focus on another thought with pure clarity, could reach into his mind and his heart and realize he wanted absolutely nothing more than for Aoi to open that door and join him in this bed like he'd done so many times in their youth. He wanted to never turn him away again, to never once care who knew or who thought what of them for it. 

His hand slid up and he pressed his palm flat to the wall, the wood paneling seeping cold into his fingertips as he left them resting there, his heart pounding in his chest as he finally breathed out, "Please..."

The wooden floorboards creaked again and Die's heart nearly sank until he heard the slow turn of his doorknob and then the quiet sound of the wood brushing over carpet. The door shut and the lock clicked quietly into place. He listened as Aoi took a few cautious steps across the floor, bringing him to the edge of Die's bed. Turning his head, Die opened his eyes and looked up at Aoi's face, found the fear painted there, the strain of walking into the unknown, and he shifted back, bringing up the edge of the covers and waiting on Aoi to come in.

Die's heart felt like it was pounding as Aoi hesitated and then dragged his shirt up over his torso, letting it hit the floor. He hesitated then, his hands on his pants, their eyes locked, and Die let his lips curve into the sultriest of smiles. "I've already invited you... and you _know_ how I sleep." His voice was but a whisper, not a single bit of their acts something either of them wanted to be questioned about in the morning, especially with so many people in the house. His pulse quickened at the idea that someone might hear... someone might find out... and god if that didn't make all of it just a little bit better.

Aoi pushed his pants down over his slim hips, letting them hit the floor and Die didn't stop himself from taking in everything on display to him. It was almost a pity the room was so dark, that he could only partly see all the ways Aoi had grown up, all the ways he differed from the boy he'd once shared his bed with. This man - his _brother_ \- eased under the covers with him and Die trapped him down within them, tucking them in around them and instantly hooking his arm around Aoi's waist, hauling him closer. He lifted one thigh, easing it over Aoi's own, hooking it behind his leg and slowly brought them into the most intimate of contacts, letting him feel how excited he already was to have him in his bed again.

There was an instant of hesitation and then it melted away, as if they'd never stopped doing this, as if all the years they'd spent apart didn't matter in the least. Aoi's hands were everywhere - in his hair, over his shoulders and then down on his hips, holding him as they rocked against one another. Aoi's head fell back against Die's pillows and he eased them over, drawing Aoi beneath him, straddling his thighs and continuing the surge of his hips forward, again and again. It didn't matter to him that he hadn't had this sort of experience in years or that he'd not been with a man in at least a decade. All that mattered was the feeling of Aoi beneath him, the breathless little noises he remembered every time he put his hand on his own cock in the privacy of his own home, the way Aoi arched up underneath him, and God help him, the way his heart pounded in his chest in a way it had never done with another person in his entire life. 

He pushed one hand into Aoi's hair, pulling his head back and surging forward, their lips meeting in a nearly brutal kiss, both of them all tongue and teeth, saliva and lust. It was some strange juxtaposition to the gentle rock of their hips, to the way everything else was so intimately filled with something that could have been love while this was all raw - nearly animalistic - passion. 

Die spread his legs just the slightest bit more, providing more pressure as he began to move faster, his hips jerking quicker as his end grew closer and closer to being within his grasp. He could feel it in Aoi just as much, feel the way he was digging his heels into the bed, the way he was pumping his hips upward against Die like he'd simply die if he didn't find his release and in the way he kissed like he needed to steal Die's very air from his lungs. 

It didn't take much longer before Die grabbed the edge of the mattress and began to jerk his hips forward, the action of it harsh, his breath huffing out with each jolt of his cock against Aoi's own... and then it was happening. Blessedly, he was cumming, the surge of endorphins and the swell and then throb of his cock as he lost it right there - right against his very own brother's length - got him off harder than he'd managed in _years_. He barely caught the moan as it wanted to bubble free of his lips, barely held back the breathless cry of Aoi's name. And he didn't hold back the near-on sob of relief as his body trembled with the effort of spilling himself all over Aoi's stomach.

Beneath him, Aoi shifted, grasping his hips hard in his hands, his face tucked against Die's shoulder, his cock pushing against Die's abdomen with the shift of position. He could almost feel the tip of it barely dipping into his belly button on every upward thrust his brother gave. Holding him close, he pressed his lips to the top of his head, closing his eyes as he simply felt. "Give it to me, precious," he offered up, the words ones he hadn't spoken since the last night they'd been together. And that proved Aoi's undoing, the quiet cry from beneath him, the vice-like grip on his hips, and then warmth flooding over his abdomen, shooting hot and sticky into his belly button as Aoi frantically thrust up against him again and again through the whole of his orgasm.

The instant Aoi went slack, sagging against the bed, Die pulled him with him, urging him onto his side and tucking him back toward the wall so he'd have less of a chance to escape without at least a few words. He let him come down from it, let him ease his way back into reality before he pressed his lips to his hair again, inhaling the scent of their union, and closed his eyes. "I need you in my life. I have for a long time now." And with the way Aoi clutched him, with the warmth of another liquid against his skin, he knew he wasn't alone... that he'd _never_ be alone again.


End file.
